The ACATsuki
by Lidandra
Summary: The Akatsuki are caught in a dimensional transfer jutsu. The side effect? THEY'RE TURNED INTO KITTENS! WTH! When 3 anime loving girls find the feline ninjas hilarity is bound to follow. Rated M for Language and Sexual Themes  no lemons
1. Chapter 1

~9:00 p.m. Deep in the woods of an unknown village~

"I'm finally close to my goal. This new jutsu could revolutionize fighting as ninjas know it." A white cloaked ninja stands hunched over his notes and calculations. All the pieces were starting to fit together. His goal? A new teleportation jutsu. One that cannot just teleport an individual from place to place, but also through dimensions and time.

However, the unknown ninja did not yet know the side effects of said jutsu. He needed test subjects in order to be sure of his theories. "Who or what shall I use… No, this is a matter of whom. How can I know how this affects humans otherwise?"

The man walked over to another desk and unrolled a paper. Doing a few quick hand signs he bit his thumb, drawing blood and drew a sign on the paper. After he was through the blood turned black as ink and formed a map of the surrounding area. Finally red dots began to appear where humans were. The larger the dot the more people.

There were many places to choose from; however, they were all places near other populations and if they went missing it would cause an uproar. Besides they were all weaklings who probably wouldn't survive the jutsu. After tedious searching the scientist found a secluded gathering of individuals with immense power.

The man couldn't keep his smile off his face as he whispered "Perfect," and began his preparations.

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><p>~9:20 p.m. The Akatsuki Base~<p>

All the Akatsuki had come together in person in order to further elaborate on their plans. The black cloaked figures filed into a dark room that honestly could've been a cave. The atmosphere around the place practically tingled with power. And most of the individuals were silent as they approached, except for a couple.

"Why the fuck are we here anyway? We all know this shit." You could hear the sighs echo across the room. "Shut up, Hidan. We're probably here for an update." Kakuzu's voice seethed with annoyance. His bounty had been interrupted for this meeting and he was ticked at not receiving the money he planned on getting. With that Hidan scoffed and looked away, pouting, to avoid upsetting Kakuzu further. It's not as if he would die, but it would hurt quite a bit.

The other conversation that interrupted the silence went something like this: "Sempai! Tobi is curious, why are we here again?" The blonde bomber sighed in exasperation at Tobi's inattentiveness. "To hear the leader talk about our plans, yeah." Tobi was about to ask another question before Deidara quickly silenced him with a one-eyed glare.

Pein entered the room silently and began to address his organization. Before he could get a word out of his mouth the ground beneath them began to shake. Despite the cave-like appearance of the room the Akatsuki members could see a beam of white light at the entrance.

Immediately Deidara rounded on Tobi, veins popping, and yelled "Tobi what the hell did you do, un?" "It wasn't Tobi sempai! Tobi swears!"

The Akatsuki members ran outside, battle ready, to inspect the light. Once they had passed the pillar four others appeared. One red, one green, one light blue, and the final one a dark ocean blue. The pillars formed a pentagon around the Akatsuki trapping them in blinding light. "Shit, is this a trap?" Hidan reached for his scythe after asking a question that any idiot could answer. The lights grew more intense until tears streamed down their eyes. With a final flash the Akatsuki were gone.

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><p>Author's Note: This is my first fanfic so as expected it kinda sucks XD I'll do my best to improve and stuff so review... and stuff XP<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

~5:02 a.m. House of Main Protagonists~

A woman with long, black, waist length hair lazily slides out of bed with a big yawn. Rubbing her eyes she walks out of her bedroom, PJs still on. After crossing a few hallways and going down a flight of stairs she walks into the kitchen to be greeted by the smell of Pop-Tarts. "Renee, that you," she asks, blue eyes clouded with sleep. There is a slight scoff at her question.

"Melissa, when has Renee _ever_ gotten up this early?" Melissa giggled a bit at that. "You're right Tasha, I'm just tired." Tasha smirked at her friend as she retrieved her pop-tarts. "You must be really tired, or delusional."

"Haha, very funny Tash."

An auburn haired girl, Renee, fixed the brunette, Tasha, with a steely glare. To further the now on-going joke Tasha raises her eyebrows at Renee's descent down the stairs. "Wow… Am I still asleep? Maybe it's the apocalypse." Tasha looked up at the ceiling, contemplating something. "I don't _think_ it's raining fire and brimstone but I might be wrong."

"Oh enough already! I wanted to jog with you this morning. I need to loose a pound or two."

Tasha just nodded, after all she'd been advising Renee to exercise for years. "You gonna come with us Lissa?" Melissa shook her head at Tasha's question. "Nah, I got up so I wouldn't miss my favorite cartoons this morning."

Renee and Tasha could only roll their eyes at their friend's childishness. She was nineteen after all, she should act her age. After devouring a pop-tart in five seconds Tasha started heading for the upstairs. "I'm gonna change into my jogging gear and then we'll head out. We'll head out the back door and do a two mile circle around the neighborhood." With that she disappeared upstairs leaving a visibly distraught Renee practically crying from the torture that lie ahead of her.

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><p>~5:17 a.m. The Akatsuki~<p>

"What the fucking hell is going on damn it!" Hidan was doing his normal bitching/whining as he voiced an exaggerated version of what they were all thinking. Kakuzu simply turned to Hidan and replied "I'd think that would be obvious, idiot."

While Hidan went into a swearing fit the other Akatsuki were trying to figure out something about their situation besides the obvious. The obvious being that they were all kittens.

With an annoyed glance at the bickering partners Pein went on to voice his concerns. "It is indeed obvious that we are all cats at the moment. We need to find out where we are. Based on the sounds outside of this box I'd say we're unfamiliar with this territory." Some nodded in agreement while others answered his explanation with blank stares. "We don't know what effect this physical change has on our powers, we may have lost them all together. Therefore, we must proceed with cau-"

Pein's words were cut short as they all heard loud footsteps approaching. "Why *pant pant* is there *pant* a box on the side of the road? *huff*" The footsteps of one of the individuals stopped as the other approached even closer. "Dunno. It's pretty close to our house… Maybe it's a delivery." Suddenly sunlight poured in to the box blinding the Akatsuki who all hissed in response. They looked up to see a brunette woman with green eyes gazing at them with an astonished expression.

"It's a bunch of kittens. Renee get over here." A flustered auburn haired, hazel-eyed woman joined the former and she too took on an astonished expression. "Whoa… Weird lookin' cats."

Hidan, being as touchy as he was, tried to climb out of the box and scratch "Renee's" face. "Say that again you bitch! I'll sacrifice you to Jashin-sama for sure!" The Akatsuki just sighed at Hidan's idiotic antics. Renee, however, backed up a bit. "Dang, they're touchy too." The brunette rolled her eyes and knelt down to inspect the cats. They all stared back at her, wary. Then she got up and walked to the other woman saying "We can't just leave them here."

As she disappeared from sight Itachi turned to Pein. "I can't sense any chakra from those two, or the others passing by us." Pein simply nodded as he had also noticed that. As he and all the others puzzled over this their attention went back to the two women who were obviously discussing the fate of the Akatsuki.

"Should we just take then home Tasha? I mean we have plenty of unused space." There was silence as Tasha thought about this. "Fine. Lissa will be bouncing off the walls when she sees these guys." Suddenly all the Akatsuki let out yowls of fury as hey lost their footing as the box was lifted. "Heheh. Sorry kittens. We'll try to be more careful." The Akatsuki seethed at Renee's words and Hidan was holding back a particularly nasty string of foul words.

After a minute or two of travel the box was set down and the click of a door opening could be heard. They were literally dragged inside, to everyone's annoyance, and the door was shut.

"Uh guys, what's in the box?" The Akatsuki made an educated guess that this was "Lissa." There was a chuckle from Renee as she said "See for yourself." Once again footsteps approached them and a girl with long black hair and blue eyes poked her head in and stared at the feline criminals. Her expression slowly turned from curiosity to amazed excitement. In an ear splitting screech of a voice she squealed "KITTIES!"

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><p>Author's Note: If you haven't already guessed ~The Akatsuki~ meant that it was their POV. Also since I'm too lazy to add this into the story here's an explanation about Lissa, Renee, and Tasha's house. It's about three stories with an attic. In other words it's big. When a family friend of Lissa's won the lottery they went and bought a summer home, grew tired of it, and then decided to hand it over to their best friend's daughter for a fairly low rent. Since Lissa isn't actually responsible enough to handle rent on her own (and she'd get lonely) she invited her friends to be her roommates. They accepted and there you go. Anyway I know it's pretty boring right now, but stick with me it gets more interesting later. I promise!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

~5:21 a.m. House of Main Protagonists~

"Oh, they're so adorable! I could just hug them to death!" Melissa picked up a red cat with a blank red stare. "Aaaaw! Who's a cute kitty cat? You are! Oh yes you are!" The kitten narrowed its eyes at this statement as some members of the Akatsuki snickered. Melissa set him down and started unloading the other cats. Tasha and Renee joined her.

After all the kittens were out of the box the girls did a once over of all of them. Melissa quickly turned to Tasha, a worried look on her face. "We're keeping them right Tash? After seeing them I don't think I can give them away." Tasha patted Melissa on the head saying "Well yeah we are. They wouldn't be in the house otherwise." Melissa sighed with relief, she was already attached to the strange cats.

While Lissa and Tasha had this exchange Kisame spoke up. "Hey, Pein. What are we gonna do?" Pein glanced from Kisame to the three girls in front of them. "…We'll stay here for now. It seems as if these girls want us as pets. So, that means free food and shelter. We might even learn a bit about this place." Most of them agreed but there were still scoffs at the idea of being pets.

"So we should go ahead and name them right?" Renee was eager to name the cats. After all, their bizarreness offered plenty of choices. Melissa clapped her hands with eagerness. "Yay! Let's do it!" Assuming her thinking pose Melissa stared at a cat with orange hair and strange, ringed eyes. "Paul!" Then she turned to a black furred cat with a blank stare. "…O' Reily!" You could almost see a sweat drop run down the poor cat's head.

Melissa was about to name a tan skinned cat with weird red/green eyes when Renee covered her mouth. "Uh-uh it's my turn." She stared intensely at the cat and finally proclaimed "You'll be Mister Muffin." The silver haired cat started yowling in what sounded like laughter when Tasha interrupted the embarrassing naming process.

"Ok, that's enough. One, the names you're coming up with are awful cat names, and two, you're doing it wrong." Renee lifted an eyebrow at that. "There's a right way to name cats?"

"Yeah, actually. You do it based off of physical characteristics. For example this guy-" Tasha turned to the poorly named Paul. "-can be named… Pierce." Renee and Melissa exchanged confused glances. "Pierce?" Renee inquired. Tasha nodded. "Yeah, because these black marks on his face look like piercings." Melissa and Renee simultaneously "oh'd" together as they came to understand Tasha's reasoning.

Tasha then turned to the red haired cat and named him Cardinal due to his fur color. Then she went on to a hyperactive cat with an orange spot that covered his face and named him Spot. After being named the kitten started bouncing and mewling happily so Tasha figured he liked his name. "So do you guys get it?"

Renee nodded though Melissa still seemed puzzled. Renee rolled her eyes at Lissa and went next. She picked up the silver haired cat with a bad attitude and stared at his narrowed pink eyes. "I think I'll name you… Tinsel." A vein popped on the cat's head as it yowled in fury. (Many of the other cats were laughing.) Melissa frowned at Renee. "I don't think he likes that name." Tinsel mewed in agreement. In response Renee just shrugged her shoulders. "He doesn't like it? Well he can deal." Tinsel hissed and tried to scratch Renee's face but she quickly dropped him and moved on.

She looked at a blue kitten with black markings on its face. After much thought she sighed and patted it on the head. "Sorry little guy. All I can come up with for you is Blueberry." The cat seemed to frown and the others snickered at his name. The distraught kitten walked over to a secluded spot and covered his head with his paws (emo corner XD). Then Renee went to the cat formerly known as O' Reily and named him Crow. Seeing that the cat was content she went on to a cat that was half black and half white with yellow eyes.

"You're gonna be… Stripe." Tasha frowned.

"Why Stripe? How does that work?"

"Oh shut up! It works ok? Geez. I couldn't come up with anything better!" Melissa raised her hand and shouted "My turn!"

She went back to Mr. Muffin who glared at her, daring her to give him a stupid name. "You can be Bands. 'Cause of the bands on your legs." Renee inspected these "bands" and said "They look more like stitches to me." Melissa ignored her and moved on to a kitten with blonde fur and only one visible blue eye. "Blondie!"

A vein popped in the feline's head and multiple cats either laughed or snickered at this name. Tasha managed to save the cat from a lifetime of shame by shaking her head. "No way. I REFUSE to have ANYTHING in this house named Blondie." Melissa frowned. "Then how about Barbie?" More laughter from the cats and the vein got bigger. Renee scoffed. "It's a guy oh smart one!" Melissa's eyes widened in shock. "Really?" She picked up the embarrassed kitten and looked "down there" to check. "Oh yeah. I guess it is. Sorry little guy." Now Tinsel and Blueberry were practically rolling on the floor laughing and Cardinal, who had first seemed emotionless, seemed to smirk. And poor Blondie/Barbie was steaming with anger. After going through the names Banana, Sunshine, Sunray, and Sunflower Melissa finally landed on Bangs.

Renee had a WTF look on her face as she asked "Where did you get Bangs from?"

"Well, that little tuft of fur covering his eye reminded me of bangs. So yeah." Melissa smiled, proud that she had finally reached a halfway decent name. She sat down a very ticked off Bangs and he strolled from her fuming. Cardinal only made it worse as he meowed something to Bangs that made him loudly hiss.

Finally, Melissa picked up a second blue cat that appeared to be the only female. "Hmmm… How about… Konan?" All the kittens became stiff and some looked confused and shocked. Tasha pursed her lips at Melissa's choice. "Why Konan? Doesn't sound anything like everyone else's names."

"Well, she has pretty blue hair like Konan. That's where I got it from." Renee sighed.

"Nah, choose something else. The name's too different from the others."

"Well then how about Crane? 'Cause Konan uses paper power that's like origami. And Paper Crane just sounds weird." Renee sighed louder.

"That's stupid. It's like naming Crow Sharingan because he looks like Itachi." When put that way it did sound stupid, so Melissa tried to think of something else.

"Fine, then I choose Wave. Cause her hair reminds me of water and Ocean or Sea don't sound like names at all." She looked at her two friends who wore thoughtful expressions and sighed with relief when they nodded.

Tasha sat down on a couch facing their plasma screen and began drumming her fingers on the arms. "We're gonna need to go out and buy supplies. Cat food for one thing. And multiple litter boxes…" As the girls began a list of things they needed the Akatsuki congregated to discuss their dilemma.

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><p>~Akatsuki POV~<p>

"How did they know about Konan? **Or Itachi for that matter?**" Zetsu voiced everyone's concern in his normal split fashion. There were murmurs about simply killing the three stooges when Pein interjected his thoughts. "We shall remain here. As I said they seem to want us as pets. Moreover I don't think they believe the Akatsuki exist. They spoke as if they were mentioning fictional characters." Despite someone's grumbling about interrupting a sacrifice the Akatsuki agreed. After all, even though the girls thought that the cats looked like the Akatsuki they hadn't seemed to think that the cats _were_ the Akatsuki. With that settled the cats turned to the three girls, harboring exasperation, anger, and frustration.

"I can't believe we're gonna rely on those idiots. They don't seem and smarter than insects, hmm." Deidara fluffed out his tail as he glared at the black-haired Melissa. Hidan smiled at that. "You're just pissed because of the dumb names they almost gave you… Barbie." The vein that had disappeared not two minutes ago came back as Deidara rounded on Hidan. "Who're you to talk? TINSEL." Then a vein popped on Hidan's head. (If this kept up someone was gonna get an aneurism.) "You son of a… Shit. At least I'm not named Blueberry or some other bullshit like that." Poor Kisame sank into a pit of despair and anger as Hidan and Deidara laughed. Finally Pein hissed "Quiet you idiots."

Due to the volume of Pein's hiss Melissa walked over to them. "No fighting you guys. We all need to get along." The offenders, minus Pein, sweat dropped and Hidan replied "Fuck you bitch."

All Melissa heard was the mewling of a kitten so she squealed and picked up Hidan. "You're just so CUTE Tinsel! You're the cutest thing EVER!" Hidan let out a stream of profanities that only seemed to encourage the girl. Kakuzu smirked and coolly eyed his partner's situation. "Good job Hidan, you made a new friend." If Hidan could've flipped him off as a kitten he would have. "FUCK YOU KAKUZU YOU DIPSHIT!"

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><p>~The Girl's POV~<p>

Tinsel was yowling up a storm as Lissa picked him up. They interpreted it as joy since he wasn't hissing or anything. Then he started hissing at Bands for no apparent reason. Tasha sighed. "If they're fighting already then this is gonna be troublesome."

If only she knew how troublesome.

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><p>Author's Note: Wow this was a pretty long chapter for me. Anyway, the next chapter or two are gonna be about the kittens living in the girl's house. The Akatsuki won't become human until about chapter 5. So basically the next chapter is filler. If you like filler then stick around, if not wait for the update after that. k?<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Quick reminder: Pierce=Pain, Wave=Konan, Tinsel=Hidan, Bands=Kakuzu, Bangs=Deidara, Cardinal=Sasori, Crow=Itachi, Blueberry=Kisame, Stripe=Zetsu, and Spot=Tobi.

_Italics_=Akatsuki POV.

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><p>~8:00 a.m. Day 3 of the Kitten Invasion~<p>

"TINSEL YOU LITTLE DEMON! GET BACK HERE!" Tinsel came bursting out of Renee's bedroom with a fabric of clothing in between his teeth. He sprinted down the hallway toward his get out of jail free card with Renee, clothed only in a bath robe, right on his heels. Tinsel ducked into Melissa's room where she sat reading on her bed. With a great leap he burrowed into a surprised Lissa's arms. "Oh, hello Tinsel. Why are you here?" Renee charged into Lissa's room with intent to kill. "Give that little fur ball to me. I'm going to skin him alive!" Melissa gasped and put a hand over her mouth in disbelief while Tinsel just rolled his eyes.

"Why would you do that?"

"That little monster stole my bra!" Tinsel, bra still in his mouth, seemed to chuckle at the furious Renee. Of course, this only made Renee more furious. "The demon knows what he did too! Look at him!" When Melissa looked down at Tinsel he gave her his best innocent look. "Renee, he's just a kitten. He probably thought it was a new toy."

"THE HELL HE DID!" Melissa sighed and shook her head. Then she lifted Tinsel to eye level.

"Tinsel say you're sorry." Lissa turned him around to face Renee.

"_Fuck you, ya dumb bitch." _

"See Renee? He's sorry." Of course Lissa would think that considering the fact that all she heard was "Mrrrow."

"I don't believe for a second that he's sorry." Renee snatched her bra from Tinsel and leaned into his furry little face. "Listen up hairball. One day Lissa's not gonna be here to save you and when that happens we'll have a new cat skin rug." Tinsel simply rolled his eyes again.

Renee stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind her.

* * *

><p>~Time skip: 2:30 p.m.~<p>

Tasha plopped down on the sofa where her two favorite cats were resting. She adored Cardinal and Crow simply because they were quiet, calm, and didn't cause trouble. Wave and Pierce were the same, but the calm demeanor of Cardinal and Crow had a soothing effect on the otherwise troubled Tasha.

She picked up the remote and started channel surfing while absent-mindedly petting Cardinal on the head. Did he enjoy the attention? No. But Tasha was better than the other two women, so he put up with her. After finding a suitable show Tasha sank into the cushions of the sofa and relished the peace. Crow, in the meantime, was staring fixedly at the TV. Tasha, having noticed this, chuckled. "Still not used to the TV huh? I never thought it was too weird… And now I'm talking to cats… Great." With that abysmal statement Tasha returned to her show.

It was only about ten minutes before she heard the unsettling clatter of dishes falling to the floor. That would be the third time today that Tasha heard something that indicated disaster… And that was just today. Heaving a heavy sigh and pausing the TV she walked to the kitchen.

"Ok what happened this time?" Tasha crossed her arms and leaned against the doorway to observe the damage. Nothing was broken though a few things were cracked. (Thank goodness. That meant no money had to be spent.) Also, there was no blood anywhere so things weren't too bad. Lissa was standing in the middle of the wreckage with Spot sitting on her head and Bangs in her arms. "Oh, nothing serious. Bangs and Spot were playing again and Bangs got into the cupboard and knocked some stuff down."

Tasha rolled her eyes. She seriously doubted they were playing. For some reason Bangs really hated Spot while Spot wouldn't leave Bangs alone. "So, did Spot provoke Bangs or something?" Lissa set Bangs on the counter while she put Spot in her arms to fill the vacancy. "Not really. Spot was batting his tail a bit. Spot wouldn't do anything too bad. He's a good boy." At that sentence Spot began mewling ecstatically and started licking Lissa's face. What he was saying can be roughly translated to this: _"YAY! Tobi's a good boy! Tobi's a god boy! See sempai? Tobi told you! Tobi likes the nice lady."_ And that's where the licking comes in. In response to this Bangs started hissing. Tasha sighed and picked up Bangs and tossed him out of the kitchen then turned to Lissa.

"I want this cleaned up, ok? Also, try not to let the kittens cause trouble." With that she walked back to the living room to find that the TV channel had changed. Her confusion only lasted a moment as she saw Crow pressing the remote's buttons with his paws. Blueberry, who had joined Crow and Cardinal, was messing with the volume. When they saw her approach they backed off and Tasha took the remote. She looked first at it, then at the cats, and then at the TV and blinked. She shook her head and sat down saying "Smart cats…"

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><p>~Time skip: 9:17 p.m.~<p>

After the mess with the dishes the house was pretty quiet. Dinner had been served for everyone and Tasha had left Renee and Lissa in front of the TV while she took a shower. Most of the cats had assembled to watch the big glowing screen with the two girls. A few were MIA* though.

Soon after Law and Order cut to the credits, Tasha showed up carrying Tinsel by the scruff of his neck. Renee narrowed her eyes at the sight. "What'd he do?" Curious to hear the answer, the cats looked up at Tasha. Lissa frowned. "What makes you think he did anything?" In response Renee just repeated her question.

Tasha sighed and tossed Tinsel to the floor. "He was waiting outside my shower curtains. Luckily I had a towel handy. He's either being adorable or creepy, and I'm leaning toward creepy." Blueberry and Bangs seemed to snicker while the rest of the kittens wore no expression or looks of disgust.

"_Hey Hidan how much did you see?" _Blueberry meowed at Tinsel in a way that seemed comrade-like. A very annoyed Tinsel meowed back saying _"Nothing. Like the bitch said she had a towel." _Blueberry seemed to laugh at Tinsel's reply. Melissa just rolled her eyes. "He's a cat guys. Animals don't care whether we're naked or not. He was probably wondering how you had spontaneously shed your fur or something." Renee sighed with rough exasperation. "You cut him WAY too much slack. And do NOT give me that 'He's misunderstood' crap."

The real reasons were 1) Tinsel is just an asshole and 2) he needed to expel his negative energy. Because he could no longer complete his rituals he decided being lecherous wasn't a bad idea.

"_Hidan. It would be best to refrain from provoking our caretakers lest we upset them." _Pierce somehow managed to meow all this in a polite yet menacing way. Hidan stalked up to the couch and laid down in front of the TV. _"Yeah whatever. (Fucking dipshit.)" _The leader decided that he would deal with the silver kitten's behavior later. Right now, there were shows to be watched.

Time passed on peacefully until Lissa suddenly exclaimed "Oh!" and face palmed herself. Renee and Tasha exchanged an unsurprised glance. Renee was the one to ask, "What's wrong? Y'know. Besides the normal stuff." Lissa ignored the obvious insult and answered seriously. "Remember that spa trip we're going on? It's in a couple days. What are we gonna do with the kittens? We can't just leave them here for two days."

The girls had all forgotten about that, what with all the exciting/nerve-wrecking things happening. Renee finally came up with a solution. "We could send them to this pet sitter place by the mall." Tasha nodded in agreement. "I think that'd be best."

That statement earned disbelieving stares from her two friends. Tasha stared back in confusion. "What?" Renee answered, "It's gonna cost a bit since they're so many cats…" Instead of cringing like her friends expected her to, she just shrugged. "It'd be more expensive if we left them here. Everything would be destroyed. Walls, dishes, tables, chairs…" Tasha started going pale at the thought of it. Renee patted Tasha on the back as a sign of encouragement. "Now that's the cheap tight-wad we know and love. Kakuzu has nothing on you girl!" Tasha rolled her eyes at the joke while the kittens fidgeted a bit. It turned out the girls knew all about the Akatsuki if they knew about Kakuzu's miserly ways.

"I don't know if I'm as bad as Kakuzu, but I DO NOT tolerate people, or cats, wasting my money." A dangerous growl had set into her speech as she glared down the kittens. Renee scoffed. "You're not the only one in the house with money." Lissa nodded her agreement. "Yeah, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't even be in this house." Tasha gave them her icy stare before answering. "Who pays 80% of the rent?" When silence answered her she turned her attention back to the TV. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

After that conversation they finished their TV programs and went to bed. In two days time the girls would be relaxing at a spa and the cats would be at a pet daycare. The outcome? Mayhem.

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><p>Author's Note: Yep. Gotta love filler. Anyway I tried to mix the points of view a bit. I'm gonna try to keep that up. Tell me if it's too confusing. So yeah. Next chapter is more filler plus the epic human changing event. Stick around.<p>

P.S. *For those who don't know, MIA means missing in action.


	5. Chapter 5

~7:30 a.m Day 5 of the Kitten Invasion.~

"Ok Kittens, it's time to wake up!" Lissa, who had about two thirds of the kittens in her bedroom, got out of bed and went to the bathroom to get dressed. She left the alarm clock buzzing in hopes that it would wake everyone up. When Lissa came out she found Bangs, Tinsel, and Blueberry ardently pounding their paws on the alarm clock while they steadily hissed. Spot, on the other hand, was tapping some kind of rhythm in time to the alarm. "Guys! Stop trying to break my clock!"

After waving the irritated cats (and Spot) away from the clock, Lissa cut off the alarm and picked up an armful of kittens. She dumped her first load at the stairs then picked up the rest of the kittens and did the same.

Bangs, Tinsel, Blueberry, Wave, Stripe, and Bands made their way downstairs to see Crow and Cardinal watching TV while Pierce snoozed on the sofa's arm. _"Oy, Sasori no danna, any idea what's going on, un?" _Cardinal glanced Bangs' way before returning his lifeless gaze to the TV. _"No clue. It must have something to do with that 'spa trip' they talked about before." _Cardinal seemed to have an annoyed edge to his reply when he answered Bangs' question. Then again he had been sitting there for an hour or so. And he did so _hate_ waiting.

The rest of the cats dispersed and went to do their own thing without another comment. Well, most of them. _"Tobi wonders what we're going to do today. Probably something fun!" _Spot started dancing around the room in excitement, thus annoying everyone around him. When he pranced past Tinsel he received a paw to the head and was knocked down because of it.

"_Oy, dumbass, stop dancin' around like a retard." _

_"B-but, Tobi is good at dancing. Tinsel-kohai is just jealous." _At that a murderous look sparked in Tinsel's eye. He pounced onto Spot and the two tumbled into the foot of the stairs next to a very annoyed Stripe. While the two of them fought an ominous sound came from the stairs. Too little too late Spot, Tinsel, and Stripe noticed a duffel bag tumbling their way. With a collective yowl the three tried to get away only to be painfully flattened.

"Oh my gosh! RENEE! Look at what you did!" Lissa came rushing down the stairs to rescue the poor kittens. She lifted the duffel bag off of them and picked up Spot, who seemed to be crying in a cat-like way. "Oh poor Spot, it's ok sweetie. It's ok. Shhh. RENEE!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't know the kittens were down there!" Renee and Tasha, whose arms were occupied by two different bags, appeared at the top of the stairs. Upon seeing Renee Tinsel and Spot broke into a harmony of hissing. Stripes on the other hand went through an odd alternation between mewling and hissing. Renee, now offended, grabbed her discarded duffel bag in a huff. "Seriously though Renee, they could've been REALLY hurt! What if the bag snapped their spines in half?" Renee gave a self righteous sigh and then turned to the cats. "I'm really, REALLY sorry. Honest. I didn't mean to do it ok?" Despite her history of sarcasm Renee's apology resonated with sincerity.

"_Aw… Well is Neenee-chan is sorry, Tobi forgives her." _Renee received a quick lick from Spot before he scampered off to annoy his fellow felines. _"Tch. Fuck you bitch. As if I'd believe that shit." _Tinsel prowled off to do who-knows-what in the kitchen. _"__**Foolish woman, I'll never forget this**__. I dunno she sounded really sincere, we should forgive her. __**Absolutely not!**__" _Stripes continued on with his odd two-toned mewling and walked to the foot of the couch.

Melissa continued to relentlessly scold Renee until Tasha finally interrupted. "Enough you two. It's time to go. Hey, cats." At that call twenty intelligent eyes became fixated on Tasha. "Whoa," she murmured. "weird." Tasha cleared her throat and pressed on. "It's time for us to go on our spa trip and there's no way we're leaving you alone so we're gonna leave you at a pet sitting place for two days, k?" Some of the cats seemed to nod in understanding. Normally an individual would be disturbed at the perceptiveness of the kittens, but the three girls had grown used to it.

While Renee and Melissa chatted over the upcoming two days, Tasha stepped over to the coat closet and took out two large pet carriers. The kittens eyed the two things with wary eyes. "I know you're not gonna like this but you gotta get in the carrier." She opened the cage doors of the carriers and expectedly waited. Renee patted the carriers and said, "They may look like prison cells but you'll be in them for thirty minutes tops." The wary looks remained but Pierce marched forward into a carrier, Wave right on his heels. With a quick mew from Pierce the other cats followed suit and divided themselves evenly. After closing the carriers and picking them up, Renee and Tasha walked toward the door to the garage that Lissa promptly opened. The three girls and ten kittens were on the road after loading everything up. Tasha heaved a troubled sigh causing Renee to lift an eyebrow. "Uh you ok?"

"Yeah… It's just, for some reason I got a bad feeling about this…"

* * *

><p>~7:57 a.m.~<p>

A bell chimed as the three girls walked into a brightly decorated room with cartoon dictations of cats and dogs. There was a reception desk with a big dog plushie smiling at all who would enter the establishment. A perky looking receptionist looked up at the bell and let out and explosive "HI!" Renee mentally groaned while Tasha politely answered her cheery smile with her own subdued smile.

"Hello, we'd like to check in our kittens for two days."

The receptionist was one of those people who seem like they've been bathed in a perpetual optimism and couldn't physically be any happier without risk of injury. Of course those type of people often tend to surprise. "Alrighty! And how many will you be checking in?" Reaching under the desk, the receptionist pulled out some paperwork. "Ten kittens."

"Wow! You must be real cat lovers huh?"

"Something like that."

"Well that's fine! I'm a cat lover myself. Anyway, just fill out those forms and then pay and you're done! Buuuuuuuut it will be pretty expensive with ten cats." Tasha seemed to tremble at the thought and upon seeing the fee she nearly broke into tears.

"Well… We knew that coming in I suppose…"

"Oh but it'll be worth it! They'll be pampered, spoiled, and loved! Though not as much as you must love them." Tasha answered with a thank you while Renee and even Melissa seemed to have the urge to puke.

When Tasha finished the paperwork and paid the two carriers were taken to a room in the back and the three girls left to enjoy a spa weekend.

* * *

><p>~12:00 p.m. Day 7 of the Kitten Invasion~<p>

"Wow that trip was great huh?" Lissa leaned in on the console of the car in between Renee, who was driving, and Tasha.

"Yeah, that message did wonders for me."

"Sure it wasn't just the guy that did wonder for you Renee?"

"Whoa, thanks for that Tash. Glad you guys think I've got a good head on my shoulders." All three of them had a good laugh at that. The conversation went on as such until they pulled up to the sitters' place. When they walked through the door the receptionist was the same woman though she seemed considerably less perky. She looked up at the bell and gave a squeal of joy.

She ran up to Renee and gave her a bone-crushing hug while steadily crying. She seemed to be trying to say something, but it was unintelligible through all her tears. After a very creeped out Renee gave her a few awkward assurances and pats on the back she calmed down. "So, uh… You ok?"

"Y-yes. I'm just SO happy you're here! We can finally get rid of those cats!"

"Why? What'd they do?" Lissa went up to the woman after her exclamation to be sure she heard her right. "I'll tell you why!"

The receptionist ran to the back and pulled out a wash station that seemed to be severely damaged. "The yellow one did this while we had our backs turned." She ticked off a finger, apparently she was gonna count the reasons. "The black and white one kept trying to eat the other kittens! I'm not even exaggerating! I saw the black one with the orange spot on his face prowling around at night, but his spot was gone and his eyes were red! I knew it was him because I saw him come out of his cage! Then there was the one with those weird stitches. He stole my wallet and the wallets of the other employees! We _still _haven't found all the money!"

The receptionist took a moment to cry a little and recollect herself. "The orange, blue, red, and black ones were darlings. Docile and quiet. The big blue one wasn't too bad but he was REALLY creepy. And the silver one…" She broke our into a sob and pulled her sleeve up to reveal a bandage. She peeled it off to show a nasty scratch. "He did this! I just tried to give him a bath! I had to get stitches for this scratch. *sniff* Then I had to visit my therapist. *sniff* It was awful!"

Melissa, Renee, and Tasha exchanged astonished glances at the news though Tasha was the one to answer. "I-I never thought they'd do something like this. They're nothing like that at home." The receptionist sniffed some more and then proceeded with her end of the conversation. "I think they might be possessed. If you need an exorcist I know a clergyman who can help."

Renee, who was agnostic, answered "I don't think that'll be necessary." Or in other words, 'Thanks but no thanks.' "Really, don't be afraid to ask. I'll… I'll go and-and get your kittens." The poor, frightened receptionist walked to the back and reemerged with a carrier in one hand and a guy on her side holding the other. After eagerly handing the carriers over the staff practically pushed them out the door.

While the girls walked to the car Lissa and Renee discussed what the receptionist said. "She was exaggerating right? I mean they couldn't have been that bad. And Tinsel would never do all that! She must've scraped herself somewhere." Renee rolled her eyes at Lissa's justification because that was the only thing she did believe. "She was off her rocker. First of all she has her own therapist, so yeah. Besides you can't be that happy without there being something wrong with you."

Tasha hopped into the driver's seat and glanced back at the two pet carriers the others were loading. When she met the eyes of Pierce and saw the pools of knowledge within them, she wasn't so sure the receptionist was exaggerating.

* * *

><p>~Time Skip: 8:09 p.m.~<p>

Everyone was gathered in front of the TV watching Lost with a dull, zombie-like fixation until Renee suddenly sprang up announcing she was going to take a bath. Tasha nodded in acknowledgement. The kittens just ignored her, and Lissa was busy playing with Spot. In fact their playing was beginning to become obnoxious. It's not that they were overtly loud or rambunctious. It's just that when Lissa continually used words like "sweetie," "cutie pie," and "captain adorable" their conversation became unbearable. "Oh you're so cute I just can't stand it!" Lissa did that weird belly blowing thing people do to babies causing Spot to mewl happily. However, when she was done Lissa drew back with a disgusted look and held a confused Spot away at arms length. "Sorry Spot, but you need a bath BIG time."At that Tasha frowned a little and turned to Lissa.

"You sure? The sitters should've given him a wash."

"Trust me if you caught a whiff of him you'd agree.

"_Hey! Tobi isn't that filthy!"_

"Sorry Spot, didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

Tasha began brooding due to the fact that she had_ PAID_ for a bath that never came. Now that she thought of it, it wouldn't be unlikely that the staff had freaked out after having trouble with a few of their kittens. It was likely _none_ of the cats had been washed.

An enraged fist crashed onto the arm of the sofa Tasha sat on as she muttered "Those, bastards… My… money…"

"What was that Tash?"

"*sigh* Nothing. We should probably wash all of them." Tasha left to run bath water upstairs while Lissa gathered the kittens and brought them to the bathroom.

After two minutes the water was ready and the two girls grabbed five kittens each. "Ok Lissa. We toss 'em in three… two... one." They tossed the ten kittens into the bathtub and a "poof" and smoke and a splash answered their actions. The two shielded their eyes and tried to wave away the smoke in confusion.

"The fuck? Now what? Wait a sec… My tail's gone!" A cold, deep voice answered the loud, rude one. "Oh really Hidan? So glad you noticed."

"FUCK YOU KAKUZU!"

This only confused and frightened the two girls more. Finally, the smoke cleared to reveal nine naked men and one woman in a towel. Their identities were obvious. They were the Akatsuki. A fictitious group of deadly criminals. Lissa was dumbstruck and Tasha? What could this calm, cool, and collected girl have to say about these new developments.

"Holy shit…"

* * *

><p>Author's Note: BWAHAHAHAHA! CLIFFHANGERS! :D Anyway the plot thickens and more hilarity is to come. I'm gonna go ahead and give a bit of a teaser. I'm planning on Deidara x ?, Hidan x ?, Tasha x ?, and ? x ?. Like my vague teasers? Well you should :D Read and Review Please.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

"What the hell is going on here?"

Tasha stared with wide, uncomprehending eyes at the nude Akatsuki members. Her mind raced a mile a minute as she tried to make sense of the new developments. The Akatsuki, world class criminals, had just poofed out of her bathtub when they were thrown in as cats. How the hell did this happen? This stuff only happens in lame fanfics!

Lissa on the other hand gaped like a dying fish with her mouth hung wide open, mouthing words she couldn't fully form. "Hey guys, what was that explosion sound? Did one of the cats blow up the toaster?" The sound of Renee descending the stairs snapped Tasha out of her trance.

"Crud. Lissa don't let Renee in here!"

Lissa started at Tasha's words. "What? Why?"

Tasha was about to explain but then it was too late. Renee walked through the door in her PJs and froze in shock at the sight before her. Tasha face palmed herself as she waited for the inevitable. Renee slowly scanned the Akatsuki until her gaze fell on Deidara. Her mouth hit the floor and her eyes grew as large as dinner plates. Deidara cocked a brow at that. "What the hell's your problem, hmm."

When she heard Deidara's odd speech pattern she let out a loud fan girl squeal causing Tasha to cringe. "Sempai. What did you do to Neenee-chan?"

"Hell if I-"

"DEIDARA-SAMA!"

With that exclamation Renee glomped Deidara sending him to the floor, in all his naked glory. "What the-? Get her off me!"

As Deidara and Renee tussled on the floor Tasha , who had regained her senses, turned to face Pein. "I think it would be best if we went to the living room to discuss these developments… But before that-" Tasha made a quick glance down there and looked away blushing slightly. "-we should get some towels."

Ignoring her wandering eyes, Pein nodded in agreement. He grabbed a towel from the towel rack, wrapped it around himself, and departed for the living room with Konan on his heels. "Konan, we should have some clothes that fit you should you need them." Konan nodded at Tasha's statement and continued without another word.

As Lissa dragged Renee away from Deidara, who was feeling the distinct need for clay, Tasha went to a small closet in the bathroom. "The towels are in here. So after you cover up meet us in the living room." With that said Tasha grabbed Lissa and Renee and practically ran out of the room.

Tasha continued into the living room where she found Pein and Konan, who now wore her night gown, sitting on the sofa in front of the TV. "Um, could you excuse my friends and me? I-I think we should have a private talk amongst ourselves." Pein considered her answer for a moment then nodded. "I understand. Take your time."

Though his words were polite but his eyes held a warning in them. Tasha could only look for a moment but then had to swiftly look away. She got the message. "Be careful what you say. Sell us out and you die." Of course Tasha was a bit of a paranoid pessimist at times. But she would take no chances in this case.

She went into the kitchen with Renee and Lissa, all the while feeling Pein's ringed gaze on her back sending chills down her spine. Once in the kitchen Tasha began pacing. "Ok guys, so this is serious. REALLY serious."

"SERIOUSLY AWESOME!"

Tasha turned to her friends in disbelief as she heard their unified response. Renee rolled her eyes. "Oh come on Tash. How is this not cool? I mean we have been keeping the friggin' Akatsuki and HOUSE PETS." Lissa nodded. "That is pretty awesome Tash. Why are you being so uptight? Our lives just became a fan fiction!" Tasha was about to angrily point out that they hadn't been sheltering house pets but mass murderers. She also wanted to point out the fact that as everyday people they were completely defenseless against the Akatsuki, and they should find a way to be rid of them. However, Tasha picked up the sounds of the other Akatsuki members entering the living room. Her words froze in her mouth as she realized that S class shinobi would have no problem eavesdropping on a conversation occurring such a short distance away. So she decided to play along.

Offering a sheepish smile, Tasha answered her friends' enthusiasm apologetically. "I guess I am being uptight. It's just, I'm kinda freaked out."

"Freaked out? You should be psyched! Especially with that blonde hunk of man meat sitting half-naked in our living room!"

"Careful with those hormones Renee. Next thing you know you'll be foaming at the mouth in a comatose."

Lissa giggled at Tasha's smart mouth while Renee shook off her remark as easily as water slides off a leaf. Tasha decided it would be best to postpone their chat about the consequences of this event later. The three girls walked into the living room to find the Akatsuki assembled and patiently waiting. Pein moved away from the couch and offered the seat to the girls who eagerly took it. Tasha took a deep breath and scanned the room looking at each ninja until she made eye contact with Pein. "Before we start does anyone have anything-" Tasha glanced at Hidan and Tobi before continuing. "-that isn't stupid to say?"

Renee raised her hand. Tasha quirked a brow at her friend's action. "Yes Renee?"

"I don't have anything to say, but I do have something I need to do."

Tasha assumed Renee meant something like use the bathroom or something so, against her better judgment, she let Renee go ahead. When Renee got permission to proceed she got up, walked to Deidara, and before he had a chance to react she kissed him… Heatedly…

Lissa looked away awkwardly and Tasha hissed quietly in annoyance. When Renee broke the kiss she returned to the couch leaving Deidara dazed and confused. "Ok Tash. Now we can move on."

Tasha closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose in order to stay calm. Most Akatsuki members had a WTF look on their faces in response to Renee's actions. Hidan responded with "That's one horny bitch…" Had Renee felt that he deserved a response she probably would have flipped him off, but she didn't feel that Hidan was worth the trouble.

Heaving a pained sigh, Tasha returned to the matter at hand. "With that out of the way we can move on to business. How and why are you here?"

Pein met Tasha's accusatory stare with little emotion. He was, however, impressed with Tasha's bravery in this situation. For that she had earned his respect. "We are not here of our own accord. In fact, you would probably have more insight to this predicament that we do."

By Melissa's confused expression coupled with both Tasha and Renee's skeptical countenances, Pein assumed that the girls were as clueless as he was. Tasha frowned slightly in thought. "So, all you know is that you appeared in some unknown, alternate dimension as kittens. Then, when we dumped you in the tub you reverted back to your original forms."

When Pein and a few others nodded Renee sprang up suddenly. "I think I have an idea!" Renee ran into the kitchen leaving Lissa and Tasha confused and the Akatsuki worried. When she returned she had a bowl of water and she walked determinedly toward the nearest Akatsuki member. Itachi, the poor sap, was in her line of sight. "Don't worry guys, I read this in a fan fiction!"

Once those promising words left her mouth, Renee dumped the bowl of water on Itachi's head. For a few seconds everyone was dead quiet. "What the fuck was that supposed to do?" Hidan broke the tense silence and Itachi slowly turned his cool gaze to Renee. Quirking an eyebrow, his eyes seemed to restate Hidan's question.

"Heheh. Uh, sorry. That was- um-supposed to turn you back into a cat. Please don't kill me." Her answer only confused Itachi more. As he opened his mouth to respond Kisame barged in on his conversation. "How would dumping water on him change him back? Does the water here have magical properties?" By his tone of voice, everyone could tell he didn't think so.

"Uh, well… No. But I've read stories about stuff just like this and when the people come in contact with water they either go from cat to human or human to cat."

"And the stories Neenee-chan read were sacred scrolls right?" Renee's scowl was answer enough.

"Ok fine! It was fiction! Geez. Excuse me for trying to help!" Renee reclaimed her seat in a huff.

"Anyway, I bet that the Akatsuki were sent here in some sort of dimensional transfer jutsu. Either the shinobi villages wanted to get rid of them cleanly or someone was experimenting. It is highly unlikely anyone could effectively work on such a jutsu in a village considering the horrible effects it could have on people and the environment. So, we can conclude that this was an experiment. That seems more likely because the bodies of high ranked ninja could probably survive whatever side effects the jutsu may have.

"So my guess is someone tracked you down, set up the jutsu, and activated it when you all gathered in one place. Thus, sending you here."

The Akatsuki gaped (at least those capable of gaping) at Melissa's insight-fullness. Tasha and Renee, who were used to Lissa's on-and-off smarts, contemplated what she said. Lissa on the other hand was offended at the Akatsuki's surprise.

"What? I know stuff!"

When they heard that phrase the Akatsuki relaxed as Lissa reverted back to her childish self. Pretty much everyone let it go. But of course Hidan had to say something.

"Bitch please. If you and a monkey were the last two things on this planet you'd still be the dumbest."

"Oh hush Hida-kun! Stop being cranky!" Hidan blinked at that. Since the girls didn't know who he was as a cat he expected the dumb ass names and shit. But now he couldn't believe her audacity. I mean "Hida-kun?" What the fuck?

Lissa interrupted Hidan's thought as she walked over to him and wagged her finger in his face. "Look mister, I don't care if you are a cat, human, or turtle. You behave young sir!" Tasha feared what Hidan would do to Lissa but couldn't move for shock. Renee, however, didn't see too much wrong in the situation. She just rolled her eyes and moved on.

Hidan narrowed his eyes at Lissa and sneered. As he opened his mouth to release a maelstrom of profanity Lissa actually clamped his lips shut with her fingers. "Behave," she proclaimed with a stern look.

Hidan bristled at Lissa's actions, but to everyone's surprise he remained silent when Lissa released him. She smiled and patted him on the head saying "Good boy." Hidan growled at that but simply crossed his arms and looked away pouting.

"Dumb bitch."

"Love you too."

She sat down beside him and waited for the main conversation to continue, but everyone was staring at the two of them. Only Kakuzu and Pain had successfully shut Hidan up, and they did it with difficulty.

Amazed at her friend's feat, Tasha blinked a few times, shook her head, and turned to Pein. "Now then, with all distractions aside, what do you plan to do?"

"We will stay here for now. We know too little about your world to do anything else. Most of us do not require much food, so that should not be a problem."

His statement wouldn't have bothered Tasha so much is he hadn't made a statement. He didn't even bother to ask and just went straight to commands and instructions. It was infuriating. If she had it within her to tell him off and kick him to the curb she would. However, she knew for a fact that she, Renee, and Melissa were helpless before even the weakest member of the Akatsuki. So, for the sake of her friends' safety and her own, she ground her teeth and dealt with it.

Hiding her emotions, she answered him with a nod. "Ok, we can manage that. As long as you stay inconspicuous anyway."

"Yes! Finally, Tashy learns to loosen up!"

"Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!"

Tasha sighed quietly at their blatant obliviousness but decided to let it go. Make lemons out of lemonade right? Or was it the other way around? Tasha got up off the coach and walked to the stairs. "I'll figure out where you'll be sleeping. We should have enough space."

"We'll manage. I explored you house extensively as a cat." Pein then walked past her, Konan in tow as always. Normally Tasha would be upset at his apparent rudeness, but she could tell Pein did this for her benefit. After all she didn't have any desire to be around the Akatsuki at current. How considerate of him…

The rest of the Akatsuki followed after Pein. One by one they each passed Tasha and she observed them as they went. None of them really struck any fear into her, but as Tobi walked by she couldn't help but shudder. Tobi, or rather Madara, was easily the most dangerous man in the Naruto universe. He may be a shell of his former self, but he was still extremely dangerous.

Then, when Tobi suddenly stopped at the top of the stairs Tasha had to fight down her panic. Did he know they knew about him? Would he try to silence them? As Tobi turned to talk to Tasha she put on her best poker face and said "Is there something wrong Tobi?"

Tobi shuffled about like a shy school boy with a crush and shook his masked head. "No. Tobi just wanted to thank Tasha-chan." As Tobi said this he pushed his index fingers together in a shy manner that would have been adorable if it wasn't coming from a man who was decades old.

Tasha frowned at Tobi's mannerisms and at her new pet name. "You're welcome Tobi," she stated in a dismissing tone. She had no interest in any prolonged interaction with him.

As Tasha moved to escape Tobi's presence an ominous power washed over her senses. She looked up at Tobi who was looking at her with an intense stare. She felt as if he were trying to see through her and dissect her brain. When Tasha looked at Tobi he jumped as if startled and embarrassed. "Eto… Ano… Bye Tasha-chan!"

With that Tobi ran off in his typical retarded fashion. As he disappeared Tasha heard Renee and Lissa whispering to each other. When she turned around to ask them what was up they were smiling at her. "What's up with you two?"

Renee shook her head and tsked. "Poor, ignorant Tash. Can't you see the obvious?"

The Obvious being that S ranked criminals were mooching off of them and that their lives were in danger. However, it seemed that Lissa and Renee's obvious was different from The Obvious.

"Tobi likes you Tash! Isn't that the sweetest most exciting thing ever?"

While Renee and Lissa went on rambling about anime crushes Tasha stared at the stairs. If her friends had felt what Tasha had they wouldn't be so excited. Tasha shook her head as the thought about her future. It wasn't looking too good from her point of view.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: Alrighty, not much to say this time around other than I gave myself a hand cramp by typing so much. XD Anyway two of the pairings should already be apparent by now. There was some foreshadowing for the third one, but I don't think anyone will really know for sure who's going to be with whom. ;) Read and Review peoples! ^o^<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

~Day 8 of the Kitten Invasion~

Tasha walked down the stairs of the third story of the house where her room presided. Clothed in nothing but her Hello Kitty pajamas she rubbed her eyes sleepily. Once she opened them she saw her two best friends smiling and waving at her at the bottom. With a smile Tasha waved back.

Then Renee began to say something. Tasha knew this because her mouth was moving, and yet, no sound was audible. Tasha cupped a hand to her ear to signal her incomprehension. Lissa and Renee looked at each other and shrugged. Lissa then cupped her hands over her mouth and yelled something at Tasha. But still no words were heard.

Tasha sighed angrily, thinking her friends were playing a joke on her. "I still can't hear you," she said. Or at least that's what she should have said. Oddly enough Tasha couldn't hear her own voice. She frowned and opened her mouth to say something when Pein appeared behind her friends. They turned to greet him with smiles on their faces.

As they started a conversation, Tasha noticed that Pein was wearing his Akatsuki cloak. How strange… It seemed her friends were inquiring about this in the conversation. Tasha leaned on the rails of the stairs as she watched the silent dialogue. Then everything took a horrible turn.

Her friends' faces transitioned from a state of joking contentment to horror while Pein remained impassive as always. The need to know what was wrong overwhelmed Tasha and she decided to finish descending the stairs. The only problem? She couldn't move.

She remained glued to her spot as things became worse and worse. Some other Akatsuki clothed in uniform appeared and Renee and Lissa began to retreat, terrified. Tasha shouted inquiries and orders that went unheard and finally the scene reached a climax.

Konan stabbed Lissa.

A sickening crunch could be heard as Konan sliced through Lissa's ribcage. That was the first thing Tasha heard since this ordeal began. The second was Renee's scream. A bloodcurdling screech that ripped through Tasha's heart and painted her mind with fear. She struggled futilely to move from her spot, to help her friend in some way. But she could not. All she could do was watch as Renee fell to floor in fear and backed up against a wall to escape the Akatsuki. Then Itachi approached Renee. Her cacophony of screaming and crying reached new heights as Itachi closed the distance. So loud was her friend's distress that its sound resonated all the way down to Tasha's bones, crushing her with her friend's imminent doom and smothering her with her inability to help. As the sound became too loud for Tasha to bear Itachi silenced Renee by slitting her throat with a kunai.

However, the silence was only a pause. The screaming continued in a new pitch and hue. That's when Tasha realized, it was her own screaming she heard. The Akatsuki at the bottom of the stairs looked up at her as if seeing her for the first time. Tasha was now frozen not by some unknown force but with fear. Were they going to kill her next? Were her friends really dead? How did this happen?

Her panicked questions were cut short as Tasha felt something cold and smooth wrap around her ankles. She looked down to see a silver cord around her left ankle and a few black tentacles around her right. She spun around to see Sasori and Kakuzu slowly walking toward her from behind. Suddenly finding the ability to move, Tasha ran down the stairs only to be subdued by Pein.

"Why are you doing this? What have we done?"

Pein cocked his head at Tasha's now audible voice. He stared directly into her frightened eyes.

"I will answer your question if you answer mine. I may even spare you. Will you cooperate?"

Tasha, who now had tears streaming down her face, could only nod fearfully.

"Very well then… What, is the capital of Idaho?"

Tasha looked at Pein oddly as his question had confused her.

"Wh-what?"

"You have ten seconds."

"I don't understand the question!"

"Seven seconds."

"Wh-why are you asking me this?"

"Three seconds…"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

Pein sighed wearily as the rest of the Akatsuki closed in. Tasha looked around wildly as she tried to understand what was happening.

"Tasha, you truly disappoint me." Tasha broke out into sobs. Then Pein broke out into some out buzzing noise. Though he closed his mouth the buzzing persisted.

"The correct answer was Boise. I'm afraid-" _This is it_, Tasha thought. _I'm going to die, all because I didn't know the capital of Idaho? Why is he doing his? What does he want? HOW THE HELL DOES HE KNOW THE ANSWER WHEN I DON'T?_

"-you are not smarter than a fifth grader." At this phrase Tasha looks up in utter confusion. This emotion is quickly wiped away as Hidan approaches with his scythe. Tasha screams and tries to run away only to be cornered into, wouldn't you know it, a corner. Hidan swings his scythe overhead and-

* * *

><p><strong>BEEP BEEP BEEP<strong>… **BEEP BEEP BEEP**…

Tasha sits up in her bed panting and drenched in a cold sweat. Confused, she looks around and finds herself in her own room instead of downstairs. She looks at her alarm clock which was fervently buzzing with the same sound Pein had made. _So then… It was all a dream? Thank God… But, then again… If the noise of the alarm clock got through to my dreams… Then what if… _Tasha jumped up in a panic as she realized that her friends' screams might not have been fabricated by her troubled mind.

She dashed down the stairs two at a time. When she reached the bottom she saw no one and bile rose up her throat at the thought of her friends' deaths. She ran into the kitchen and saw an odd sight.

Itachi was at the stove cooking while others were seated in the dining room adjacent to the kitchen eating. Tobi and Deidara were fighting as usual, Pein and Konan were silently eating, Renee was chatting with Sasori… _Renee! She's fine! Then that means… _Tasha turned and saw Lissa lecturing Hidan on manners. Tasha slumped on the doorway and sighed with relief.

This earned her recognition from everyone. Renee waved at her and smiled. "Hey sleepy head, you're up later than usual. Your alarm clock not ring?"

Tasha took a deep breath and smiled shakily. "Yeah… Something like that."

Lissa pouted a bit. "You ok Tash? You look kinda ruffled and you came in all… Well.." Lissa threw her hands in the air and waved them around manically to demonstrate how Tasha had entered the kitchen. Tasha shuffled a bit and sat down at the breakfast nook where Lissa and Renee abandoned their past actions and joined her. Renee brought her a mug of coffee. Tasha then took it and shakily brought it to her lips.

"Y-yeah... I'm fine."

"You sure Tash? You look pretty bad."

"Thanks for the consideration Renee, but I'm fine… Just had a bad dream…" Knowing that this explanation wouldn't satisfy her friends she decided to tell a little white lie. "I dreamed that Wheel of Fortune was in our living room giving away one hundred million dollars. In the dream I couldn't get downstairs fast enough."

Lissa and Renee exchanged skeptic looks and stared Tasha down. In response Tasha gave a meaningful look at the dining room. Catching her hint, Lissa and Renee backed off, but they would get a better explanation later.

At that moment Kakuzu strode into the breakfast nook. "I heard one hundred million dollars." He gave each girl a cold look, willing them to fill in the blanks. Lissa was the one to answer.

"We were talking about a dream Tasha had. Sorry, but there's no money actually involved."

"Well then, where could I go in this world to earn currency?"

Lissa pursed her lips in thought. "Well… You could work at McDonald's I guess."

Renee scoffed at that. "Yeah, because S ranked criminals can TOTALLY get a day job." Renee smacked Lissa on top of the head to illustrate how stupid her suggestion was. Tasha, on the other hand, was speculating Kakuzu's question. "That raises a good point though…"

Renee turned to Tasha in disbelief. "You think the Akatsuki should work at McDonalds?"

"Yes Renee, I do. I really, truly believe that we should let murderers work at McDonald's… NO! I'm talking about the whole money thing." Tasha then realized something she had just said was very stupid to say in front of a certain someone. She turned to Kakuzu.

"No offense about the whole murderer thing…"

"Hmph. None taken."

"Ok, good. Anyway, I'll think about your money problem because it is also my money problem. And, I'm not fond of problems involving money." Kakuzu nodded , after all he could relate to that.

"Now that I think about it, we'll need quite a few problems fixed…" She stared pointedly at the towel Kakuzu was wearing. It seems no one but Konan had any other clothes, and Konan borrowed hers from Renee.

"I'll talk to Pein about going out to get clothes and other things. We'll also need quite a bit more food… God… So. Much. Money. Needed…" Tasha began to feel faint with the thought. "Yeah, you're all going to need jobs."

"Very well, I'll start searching… I imagine there are bounties in this dimension as well." Before Tasha, Lissa, of Renee could point out what a bad idea that was, Kakuzu left. The girls looked at each other, sighed, and got up to go finish eating breakfast.

* * *

><p>~5:07 p.m.~<p>

Tasha and Pein had spent about an hour after breakfast talking over the things that needed to be dealt with. First and foremost, they had decided, they would need clothes. While Lissa and Renee had no problems with the Akatsuki stepping out into public under magical disguise, Tasha thought otherwise. "What if there are some fan girls in the market that are uber Deidara fans? They'll notice the similarities, even under disguise, and they'll want to take a look at his hands. They may think he's a cosplayer, but I don't want to take chances."

Due to Tasha's convincing argument, they had decided to take the men's measurements and Konan could just continue to borrow clothes; then Tasha and Lissa would go out to buy the clothes. Renee would stay to supervise or, in more accurate terms, babysit. So, they spent the entire day measuring the Akatsuki. They had finally finished measuring Zetsu (who would need a custom made outfit) when they had decided to head out.

"Alright Renee, we're leaving. Hold down the fort 'til we're back."

"Ma'am yes ma'am Miss Tasha ma'am!" Renee saluted Tasha as she walked by which earned her a droll look. As Tasha passed by Pein she went to talk to him.

"I fully expect you to pay me back for this. Clothes aren't cheap you know…" Tasha blinked for a second as she realized her audacity. She was demanding things of men who wouldn't think twice about snapping her neck like a twig… Wow was she smart. Pein, however, did not take offense and simply nodded then went back to reading Discover magazine.

Tasha sighed inwardly. She was starting to feel the wear and tear of the presence of the Akatsuki and it was only the first day. Things were surely going to be difficult.

"C'mon Tash! Let's go! I'm gonna miss Generator Rex if you keep lolly gagging about!"

_Typical Lissa._ Tasha shook her head and turned around. As soon as she reached the door knob she heard a collective "poof." She turned around to see a collection of kittens buried under towels and a certain kitten who was trying to find her way out of the legs of a pair of jeans. Lissa blinked a few times in confusion and looked at Tasha who had the same look on her face. Then, much to everyone's surprise, Itachi walked into the room in his human form. He gazed around emotionlessly though his eyes betrayed his surprise.

Renee, who had been sitting on the couch, looked around with curiosity. She picked up Bangs and sat back down smiling. As Bangs hissed in annoyance Renee turned her happy face to her best friends.

"Guess we'll only need clothes for one huh?"

* * *

><p>Author's Note: So if you haven't noticed, this chapter is all about Tasha. Sooner or later I will get around to giving Renee and Lissa their own chapters but right now they're too one dimensional. Anyway there isn't much to say other than the whole transformation thingy will be explained next chapter. Updates will be a bit slow due to school and stuff. So bear with me ^^<p>

R&R plz


	8. Chapter 8

"Why did this happen?"

Lissa looked around with a slightly disappointed expression. After all, she had been looking forward to a bit of clothes shopping. Now she'd have to go to a pet store to do it. Bummer.

Tasha donned a confused and bewildered look despite the fact that she was a bit relieved at the Akatsuki's vulnerable states. "Moreover, why didn't this happen to you Itachi?" At her question Itachi scanned the room a bit, equally puzzled as the girls. Some of the kittens hissed their annoyance and others also tried to think of a solution.

"Well, for one thing, we know their transformation is tied to water. I thought it would act like an on-off switch, like in fan fiction, but I was wrong. So what do you think the connection is?" Renee finally released Bangs as she stated her thoughts. Lissa, who had assumed a "thinking pose," spoke in response.

"Well, as Renee said, water is the key variable here; however, I believe we must also consider the dependent variable: time. Clearly the effect of water wore off after a decent number of hours so time is a factor. I believe the third, most important variable is amount of exposure. After all, Itachi got a bowl of water dumped on him by Renee in addition to the tub-full everyone else received. So, basically, we can assume that the more water the Akatsuki are exposed to the more time they have in their humanoid form."

Tasha and Renee simply nodded seeing as the conclusion made a fair amount of sense. On the other hand all the cats and Itachi stared at Melissa in obvious, and insulting, surprise as they were once again caught off guard by "Smarty Pants Melissa." Seeing their reaction, Lissa became appropriately offended and crossed her arms. "Hey! I know stuff! Why can't you people see that I know stuff!" And with that those Lissa returned to her familiar, childish self, thus removing her from the spotlight yet again.

"Ok so, I guess if you want to stay in your human forms, you're gonna have to take bathes everyday, talk about a water bill. Maybe we can keep a bowl of water in the kitchen just in case," Renee volunteered.

Lissa nodded enthusiastically to show her agreement. Tasha, however, gaped at Renee openly. Renee, noticing Tasha's unbelieving stare, quirked an eyebrow. "Calm down Tash, the water bill won't be that high."

"The water bill? The water bill? You think I'm upset about the WATER BILL?" Tasha was just about to scream all her worries when she took notice of her feline audience, plus Itachi, an decided to change her dialogue.

"I-I'm just freaked that we'll be sharing a bathroom with NINE BOYS. Seriously, I have enough of a problem sharing with you two."

Renee nodded. "True dat, but we'll manage. The boys can have the second floor bathroom and the three of us, plus Konan, can take the third floor bathroom."

"*sigh* Alright, I guess that could work. Sorry about the major freakout…"

"You're so sensitive Tash! It's adorable!" Renee gave her a pat on the back and headed into the kitchen for a snack.

Tasha turned to Pein/Pierce to address him about the clothes thing. "Ok, I really meant to go out tonight. But with these new developments, I'm afraid I need some sleep." And she looked it. Her shoulders were a bit slumped, her eyes wild and harried. Yeah she could _really_ need some sleep.

"_Very well. If that is your inclination…"_ "I'm just going to assume you said yes." Pierce nodded. "Good. Lissa, Renee, let's get some sleep."

"'Kay Tash. Night guys!"

"Mmkay! *chomp chomp* But it's a bit early don't you think? *chomp*"

The three girls retired early and left the kittens to their devices.

* * *

><p>~Time skip: 7:21 a.m. Day 9 of the Kitten Invasion~<p>

"Lissa! Nine minutes to take off!"

"'Kay Renee! Teehee, that rhymed."

Overnight the girls had decided to go together and hope that Pein would keep things under control. Key word? _Hope. _Disregarding the 50-50 chance of their house crumbling to the ground, Renee and Tasha prepared for a good few hours of intense shopping. Rather than taking along an assault rifle as is necessary to deal with those pesky "other shoppers," Tasha was packing different papers into her purse. She also decided to bring along a folder. Obviously a folder doesn't exactly seem like an essential tool for shopping, so when Melissa stepped into the living room she had to raise the question, "Why are you carrying a folder Tash?" Renee just gave Tasha a look that expressed her typically sarcastic view of well… everything.

"I figured we'd of around collecting job applications. We're seriously in need of a job hunt."

Seeing as neither Lissa nor Renee found anything wrong with her logic they remained silent as they walked to the car. The silence was then interrupted as Tasha opened the driver side door.

"Hold up damn it! We're coming too."

The three girls looked toward the front door to see Hidan, Deidara, Itachi, and Kisame making their way outside. Tasha's first thought was panicked as she thought about the Akatsuki streaking through the street. However, she then noticed that they wore clothes that fit well on Kisame and Hidan and loosely on Deidara. Tasha's eyebrows knit together in confusion until she noticed a familiar Paramore shirt. Then it hit her.

"Rick," she mumbled as she turned an accusing stare at Renee. In response, Renee shrugged.

"I was pretty mad when I dumped the bastard. So, I stole his stuff. I'd forgotten that his clothes were still here…"

Tasha pinched the bridge of her nose to stave off a growing headache. She then turned to address the patiently waiting Akatsuki boys. "You obviously can't go. Deidara and Itachi might pass as normal, if not for their fans. But you two-" She pointed at Hidan and Kisame respectively. "-you're _way_ too conspicuous. Young people with white hair aren't normal around here, and I'm pretty sure blue people aren't normal even in your world. No offense."

Hidan rolled his eyes in annoyance and made his way to Tasha's red Nissan. "It's called 'transformation jutsu' dumbass. Shit, you don't know anything do you?"

As he poofed his hair blonde with transformation jutsu, Tasha glared pointedly at him. With a sigh she moved on to see that Kisame had assumed an olive skin tone with black hair. He'd filled down his razor sharp teeth and changed his eyes to look more human which actually made him look fairly attractive.

He walked past Tasha to Renee's car, correctly assuming that they would need two, and said "No offense taken by the way." With that he continued walking with Deidara not too far behind. The only discernable difference he'd made was the fact that his hair was now light brown and flowed down his back.

"Didn't Tobi want to come," Renee inquired. Most of the congregation shuddered at the thought of it. Deidara answered her. "He did, but I tied the little jerk up and gagged him, yeah." Deidara's facial expression was particularly wicked as he said this, which set off Renee's inner fan girl. However, to everyone's benefit, she managed to contain herself.

The division ended up placing Kisame and Deidara in Renee's silver Focus and Hidan, Itachi, and Melissa, who could drive but thought better of it, riding in Tasha's red Altima. As the two cars set out, Tasha became all too grateful for Itachi's presence as facilitator, or in more accurate terms: babysitter, for the rambunctious attendance of Hidan. His calming silence balanced out the loud, obnoxious banter between Lissa and Hidan. Not to mention the fact that Tasha viewed him as the only decent Akatsuki member. It set her mind at ease to know that at least one of the band of freeloaders wasn't completely psychopathic.

As they wound down the street Tasha noticed the fact that Itachi was staring at her hands, Sharingan activated. Her initial reaction was confusion with a dash of the heeby jeebies, but then she realized that cars do not exist in his universe. He must be trying to figure out what she was doing. This hunch was confirmed as Itachi inquired "What is this contraption?"

"_Wow, he must be really curious to break his vow of silence," _Tasha thought. She glanced at Itachi briefly before answering. He had turned his hair color auburn brown, much like Renee's, and spiked it up a bit so it was no longer flat. He had also removed the odd lines on his face. The end result was quite alluring.

"It's called a car. As I'm sure you've noticed, I steer with my hands and use my feet to make it go forward or stop."

"…I understand. But how is it propelled forward?"

Their conversation went on like this as Tasha answered Itachi's questions about our world's technology. Meanwhile Lissa and Hidan continued their conversation which went something like this:

"So you kill people because your god tells you to?"

*insert Hidan's satisfied smirk here* "That's right. I sacrifice to Jashin-sama to please him and in return I receive immortal life from the exalted one."

*insert Lissa's confused face here* "But why would he want dead people as a gift? Wouldn't he want something better? Like food? Or does he eat souls or something?"

And so on and so forth.

A few minutes passed as they wound their way down the road to the shopping center. When they finally arrived, Tasha and Renee parked and the girls and Akatsuki members stepped out of the car. Usually, the best place to shop was the mall, but Tasha was dead set on going to the cheapest stores available.

Bargain hunting… Yay.

"Renee, Lissa, would you guys take the boys clothes shopping?"

"Where are you going," Renee queried.

"Job hunting. I've said it before and I'll say it again." Tasha turned to the Akatsuki tag-alongs. "You. Are. Paying. Me. Back."

The boys just rolled their eyes, except for Itachi, and followed Melissa and Renee.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: Sorry for the short chapter guys. I'll try to write more *determined face* Anyhow, R &amp; R plzzzzzz (shorted Author's note I've ever made! XD)<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

~12:02 p.m. Day 9 of the Kitten Invasion~

After an arduous nerve-wrecking few hours of bargain hunting, Renee and Lissa were all too ready for a much needed lunch break.

"Hey Tasha… Yeah we need a lunch break stat… Well, Deidara almost set a guy on fire, does that count? Lissa handled Hidan well enough and Kisame doesn't pull crap when Itachi's around… 'Kay meet us at McDonald's… No? Well then how about Pizzahut? Fine we'll go to Dominoes! Geez! …Bye."

Renee snapped her phone shut and slipped back into Spencer's. Once inside she saw Lissa and the crew filing through clothes they wouldn't buy. (The stuff was too expensive for Tasha's Nazi budget.)

"Hey guys, it's time to go eat."

Lissa pulled a gopher routine and popped her head out from the middle of a circular clothes rack. "Say what?"

"We. Go. Eat. Now."

"Oh! Hey guys, time to go!"

Kisame and Itachi were the first to answer the call and Deidara followed soon after. Hidan was slower to respond seeing as he was rather occupied trying to dislodge Melissa from his arm. Once out of the building the band of misfits trekked down the sidewalk to meet Tasha. While walking multiple conversations ensued…

* * *

><p>"Hey, Deidara."<p>

Deidara eyed Renee suspiciously. They hadn't gotten off to a great start what with all the unsolicited sexual attention Deidara received. He'd thought about blowing her up a few times, but Pein had said to leave the three stooges alone. Which, of course, was a shame. Renee was a pretty girl after all. She would look even better as a piece of his "art."

"What is it, hmm?"

"Hey, no need to take that tone with me. I was just wondering about what you think of our world."

"Tch. Nothing much, yeah. It's not so different from our world. But I bet you already knew that, hmm."

Suppressing an awkward fangirl fainting maneuver, Rene gave Deidara a sly, knowing look.

"What? Does it bother you that we know about you?"

"Couldn't care less, hmm. After all, what could idiots like you do with important information?"

"Ouch with the insults! And to answer your question… Well, that's a need-to-know kinda thing. As in you don't need to know."

Deidara gave her a curious look, trying to figure out what Renee was thinking. What he saw gave away nothing but blatant mischief and laughter at his expense. This caused both anger and interest to bubble in the pit of his stomach. This girl could really get under his skin…

* * *

><p>"Oi, Hida-kun?"<p>

Hidan sighed in frustration. No matter what he threatened, Lissa (aka Annoying-Blabbermouth-Bitch) would never shut up!

"What," Hidan growled in response.

"What happened to your scythe," Lissa continued, completely ignoring the hostility in Hidan's voice.

"Hmph. Fuck if I know. Didn't show up in the box did it? Not that I think about it, Kisame's freaky ass sword didn't show up either…"

"Really? Well that's weird. Maybe the jutsu could only transport living things."

"Maybe…"

"Hey, Hida-kun?"

"WHAT?"

"Do you like sherbet?"

* * *

><p>Kisame and Itachi walked along the sidewalk in relative silence. Itachi only observed the cars passing by as he thought about all that Tasha had told him of this world's technology. Kisame on the other hand thought about his newly purchased clothing when something occurred to him.<p>

"Itachi." Itachi spared him a glance to let him know he had his attention and then looked back to the cars.

"When this is all over, if we don't get back… You think Leader will carry out the plan here somehow?" Itachi gave him a neutral look.

"We're probably gonna kill those girls right?"

The two shared a stare for a few seconds before Kisame broke into his signature sharky grin.

"Yeah, that's what I thought too."

* * *

><p>When the boys, Melissa, and Renee finally arrived, Tasha had already ordered two large pepperoni pizzas for the gang. And there was no stranger sight than a collection of Akatsuki members eating pizza of all things. The imagery in and of itself is odd but when conversations about explosions, Jashinism, manga, and ponies were scattered across the table, things get pretty bizarre.<p>

However, with shopping done and stomachs satisfied it was essentially time to go home. So, the group decided to head back to the cars. This time around the girls stuck together and the boys kept to themselves.

"So, Tash, how did your job-hunt go," Renee inquired.

Tasha shrugged as way of reply and then elaborated. "I got a few applications… But in the end it all seems weird. I mean could you see Pein working in Men's Warehouse?"

Lissa thought about it then offered "Or Sasori working at McDonald's?"

The girls had a good laugh as they thought about Sasori in McDonald's uniform with a cute paper hat on his head.

"But you know what? I could see Deidara as a police officer."

Tasha looked at Renee like she was crazy. "He blows things up for fun Renee. I don't think he'd be keeping crime off the streets."

Renee gave her a devious smile. "We're not talking about the same kind of police officer Tash. Now that I think about it, that kind of police officer could be a firefighter or a cowboy. Deidara could _really_ pull those two off. If you know what I mean."

Melissa and Tasha took a second to process this before they finally got the inappropriate innuendo. Lissa replied with a very feminine "ew!" while Tasha just shook her head as Renee laughed.

The girls and guys had ended up pretty far apart, though still within sight of each other, when trouble started. A couple of guys leaned against a wall on the opposite sidewalk, chatting and smoking some cigarettes. When the girls they started calling to the girls in lewd ways.

Tasha stared pointedly ahead with a hard look on her face while Lissa rolled her eyes. Renee tossed her hair over her shoulder and sighed. "It's not easy being gorgeous is it? At least we get to brush up on our ignoring skills."

However, it seemed as if the hoodlums refused to be ignored. They followed the girls, getting bolder and bolder with their comments.

"Hey, Little Miss Brunette! How 'bout you come over here and give Daddy a big 'ol kiss on the sweet spot huh?"

"You and me could have a real good time Red! You look like a gal who likes it rough. Well I'm here to deliver baby!"

Tasha scoffed and tried to stave off her anger. "Just ignore them guys. They're just idiots." Renee resisted the urge to hurl a few stones at the guys but nodded all the same. Melissa on the other hand as very quiet… and very angry.

The two men finally crossed the street and intercepted the girls. Tasha sighed heavily, looked the first one straight in the eye and said "We. Are. Not. Interested."

"C'mon sweetness. No need to be shy. I'll treat you gentle-like." The other guy laughed at his companion's words. Standing this close the girls could smell the alcohol on their breath.

"Please just leave us alone," Renee replied.

The second man eyed Renee hungrily. "Aw, Red. You're breakin' my heart here. Fine. Then maybe the little lady over here will appreciate my gentlemanly courtship." This caused the first guy to break out into a real fit of laughter. When the man who spoke reached out for Melissa, Tasha started as she noticed the dark look on Lissa's face. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Aw, what's this little petunia gonna do to me, huh? She ain't gonna do nothin'. Right sugartits?"

The guy smacked Lissa right on the butt earning an appreciative snort of laughter from his friend… And that's when Lissa exploded.

"YOU COCK-SUCKING, DICK-RIDING PIECES OF SHIT! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

The two men looked startled at Lissa's outburst while Renee and Tasha slowly backed up. Renee shook her head. "Now you've done it. You just released the demon."

Lissa grabbed the butt-groper by the shirt and slammed him into the wall earning more chock from the men. "I _said_ WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

Melissa then punched the man in the face earning a satisfying crunch as his nose broke. He dropped to the ground howling in pain like the loser he was.

"You psycho bitch!"

"Benny! You're gonna pay for that you little slut!"

Lissa blinked at the guy then laughed in an almost diabolical way. "If you think for one second that a pussy-phobic cunt like you can 'make me pay' you're stupider than I thought ya' fuckin' retard."

The man's face had grown red with anger at that point and he made the mistake of swinging his fist at Lissa. She ducked and laid out a rapid succession of punches that sent the guy to his knees. By then Broken-Nose Benny had gotten up and tried to get the drop on Melissa only to be roundhouse kicked in the jaw.

"Aw c'mon bitches! That all you got?"

"Rick. Ricky! C'mon man this bitch is crazy!"

The two cowards took off as if the devil himself were on their heels. By that time the boys had finally caught up after loosing sight of the girls for a bit. They'd heard a commotion and come to see Lissa beating the crap out of two fully grown men. But the real shocker was when she called out after them.

"I EVER SEE YOU TWO AGAIN, I'LL RIP YOU TO SHREDS AND SHOVE YOUR HEADS UP YOUR ASSES! YOU HEAR ME?" Lissa then proceeded to flip them off and make a funny face as they continued to run. "Tch. Fuckin' shit-faced twats."

The Akatsuki members wore masks of surprise at Melissa's rage and violence. Hidan looked especially stunned in a weird mix of WTF surprise and "I'm in love" awe.

"You ok Lissa? Cooling down," Tasha inquired.

Lissa sighed. "Fuck. I guess so. Those assholes pissed me the fuck off though."

Renee rolled her eyes. "Thanks for sharing Lissa. I _totally_ missed that _obscure _detail."

Lissa smiled at Renee's sarcasm and seemed to transform back into adorable Lissa.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments before Deidara interjected "What the hell was that?"

* * *

><p>Author's Note: If Melissa's graphic language offended you in any way I'm really sorry! (no sarcasm) But now you know about Lissa's dark side! Writing this bit was a teeny bit weird. (I don't curse often) And in the end my parents read it and went all crazy and parent-like. XD SO APPRECIATE THIS FANS! I FACED A PARENTAL LECTURE FOR YOU! lol (btw for those that didn't get what Renee was hinting at, she meant "exotic dancer" if you know what i mean *hint hint* *wink wink* *nudge nudge*) Reviews are always welcome. Stick around and find out what happens next.<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

~Some Time Ago~

* * *

><p>"She's such a freak!"<p>

"I know. You try to be nice and she snaps your head off!

A little girl sits on a swing set alone, sad, and more than anything pissed off. It seemed she was always angry. She didn't know why. She didn't mean to scare those girls off, really. She just… never knew what to say. Never knew how to turn the anger off. Never knew how to turn the sadness off. Never knew how to stop being alone…

* * *

><p>Ever since Mama died when I was five, I've been sad. I don't really remember how I was before then, but ever since I've been sad. When I was seven, Daddy married again. I should've been happy to have a new Mama, I know I should've… but I wasn't. I got angry at Daddy, and I've been angry ever since. Dr. Mitch says it's temporary, that I'm still "grieving." I don't really know what that words means; I'm only eight after all. At the same time I think I know that word better than anyone else in the world…<p>

Anyway, I'm so angry all the time that no one likes me. At first it didn't bother me… Just made me angrier. So Dr. Mitch told Daddy and Mama 2 to get me a "creative outlet." That must've meant a place where you hit things, 'cause Daddy enrolled me into a karate dojo. I've been in it for 6 months now and I'm the best in my class. I'm already an orange belt (that's the third level). Despite that I still don't have friends. Daddy's getting worried. I don't care what Mama 2 thinks…

I don't need friends.

Really… I don't…

* * *

><p>The girl started to swing back and forth. She went higher and higher as if she might be able to fly away if she got high enough. She'd heard the other kids talk about swinging high enough to reach the moon, but she thought that was stupid. All the other kids were stupid. And when she thought about how stupid they were she got angrier and swung higher. She didn't need to reach the moon. She had nothing to run from… Really.<p>

The little girl was so busy thinking that she didn't see the two girls approach her. One of them had real pretty auburn hair with hazel eyes and the other had brown hair and glasses that covered her emerald green eyes. They were really different from the girl on the swing with her long black hair and blue eyes. But all kids were different from her. Those two were called Renee and Tasha, not that the girl on the swing cared.

"Hi. You're Melissa right," Hazel-eyes asked.

The girl on the swing ignored her.

"Can we use the swing next to you?"

"I don't care. Do what you want." The girl mentally winced. She'd snapped at Hazel-eyes. She didn't mean to, but she did, she always did. Now they'd run away. They always did. But instead of running away, Hazel-eyes smiled.

"Thanks. C'mon Tasha! I'll push you first okay?"

Green-eyes nodded eagerly. "Okay"

Green-eyes got on the swing and Hazel-eyes began pushing her. The girl never had anyone to push her, so she learned to swing by herself. But it's not like she wanted someone to push her… Really.

Once Green-eyes got high enough Hazel-eyes left her on her own and watched the two girls swing. Then Hazel-eyes asked the girl "Why are you always by yourself?"

"None of your fuckin' business." The girl kept swinging.

"Why do you cuss so much?"

"None of your fuckin' business." The girl swung higher.

"Why don't you let people talk to you?" Hazel-eyes seemed frustrated.

"None. Of. Your. Fuckin'. Business!" The girl jumped off the swing and glared at Hazel-eyes.

Hazel-eyes stared evenly back. "Don't you get lonely?"

"NO! I DON'T!"

Green-eyes had stopped swinging and was staring at the girl with an intelligent emerald gaze. "Then why are you crying?"

The girl touched her eyes to see that her face was wet. So she got angry. "I'M NOT CRYING! ONLY BABIES CRY! AND I'M NOT A STUPID ASSED BABY! NOW SHUT UP 'FORE I PULL YOUR HAIR OUT LIKE I DID SHELBY!"

Hazel-eyes rolled her eyes. "You're not gonna pull our hair out."

"Yes I will! Just you wait!"

Green-eyes got off the swing and walked to the girl. "Do you wanna be friends?"

The girl was shocked. She stared at Green-eyes for a while and then acted angry. She was always angry.

"NO! I DON'T NEED NO DUMB ASS FRIENDS!"

Green-eyes looked confused. "That's not right. Everyone needs friends."

Hazel-eyes nodded. "That's right; from now on we're friends. I'm Renee and that's Tasha."

The girl stared at them, bewildered and defused. "I know… M-my name's Melissa."

Tasha and Renee smiled. "We know."

* * *

><p>Melissa felt weird. For the entire day Renee and Tasha talked to her and teased her no matter how much she shouted and cussed. She even punched Renee in the arm. She walked off angry and crying like they always do, but she came back later.<p>

For a while Melissa even felt… happy? Was that the right word? The word she'd forgotten since Mama died? …Yeah that must be it… Happy.

After the bus dropped her off at home she went inside to see Daddy reading the newspaper. He looked up when she walked in.

"Hey darlin'. How was school," he asked real cautious-like. He was always cautious around her.

Melissa thought about this. He asked that question regularly but she usually ignored him. But, today…

"Good. I made two friends today…"

He looked up, a bit surprised at her actually answering him. Then he broke out into a big smile Melissa hadn't seen in ages.

"That's great baby. Do you want to go get some ice cream to celebrate? We… We could even bring Mama along." There he was being cautious again, testing the waters.

Melissa felt her anger flare. It always did when Daddy mentioned Mama 2. But for some reason it died down. She was still angry, but it was… tolerable.

"Yeah, okay."

* * *

><p>Author's Note: A peek into Melissa's past! Now you know the origin of Melissa's dark side! I really feel proud of this chapter, because everyone has faced social exclusion at least once. Some of us more than others. And I personally know how much hurt and anger can spawn from being left alone when you want comfort. How you lash out at people without really meaning to. I go through it almost everyday I walk through my school's doors. The point of my pity party (lol) is to say that despite this there's someone willing to put up with your moodiness and willing to be your friend. Someone you can rely on. Sometimes you find them when you're young like Melissa did... Sometimes you won't like I haven't. But I believe that, in time, you'll find someone like you if you're patient. :) That's all for now. R&amp;R<p> 


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